Thoughts and Dreams

wanderlust:

noun

a strong desire to travel: a man consumed by wanderlust.

I came upon this word a long time ago, in one of my many forays through Wikipedia (where you jump from one page to the next because you keep seeing things that you're curious about...) So I read through the wiki page for wanderlust; it's short and sweet, but I saw myself reflected in the words: a strong desire for or impulse to wander, or, in modern usage, to travel and explore the world. 

I have never once been outside of the United States. Not a single time. Not even to Canada. Last night as I was driving home (after watching the first half of Titanic, mind you...I'm sure that plays into this somehow.) I was listening to the Classical station like I do, and it was all about Puccini. It was all about how Puccini is loved by almost every Italian, they see him as a hero; they talked about how he composed, watching the moonlight reflect off a lake, with his cigarettes and whiskey. They talked about how Verdi and Wagner wrote of what they knew; Puccini wrote of what he dreamed. The whole thing made me feel so overpowered with a longing just to GO to this place where Puccini found his inspiration, and just sit and watch it as well. There is so much outside of where I am, right now. And I need to find it.

I guess you could say this is kind of my New Year's Resolution, except...I'm actually doing it. I will be taking any money I make this upcoming semester, via accompanying and selling my body (half kidding) and putting it away in a fund or account, whatever, to make this possible. I'm not content where I am, and I know I won't be until I make this happen. I don't know where I will be going exactly, but I can figure that out later. I realize that this might not happen this summer (although that is when I would be planning it for) but if not this, then the next.

Why am I telling this all to you? Because I don't think I've ever properly told anyone how much I want to leave this place, where I am right now, and just travel into the world. In a way, Hershy is doing this right now; and I'm so happy for him. He's following his dream, and he said something really smart. We all have so much crap weighing us down, both physically and mentally...but when you think about it, to really get up and go, you don't need a lot. 

I've gotten into a bad trend of staying up way later than should be humanly allowed. I'll have another post detailing Christmas and the New Years and all the excitement that the next week holds. But this is what's important to me right now. 

"If you could say anything about Mikey Wade, it's that he was a people person." (guess the movie...I changed the name :])

In the spirit of Christmas...

I'm tired. I really don't want to be updating my blog right now...but at the same time, I am compelled. I'm playing for the Children's Christmas Pageant once again this year, which I'm actually pretty psyched for. Little children singing Christmas carols in nothing short of three separate keys is still a heartwarming experience for me; they're too cute for me to lash out, and slay them with my relative pitch of death. Plus, when i was that little I was Joseph one year. And I got to carry a wooden donkey and sing. Life was good. 

I spent the majority of today completely doing nothing. The first time I left the house was to go to church at 5 tonight. It just needs to happen, especially after the craziness of this semester. I can't do it now, but I will soon have a blog entry reliving the magic that happened these last four-ish months. Did that last part sound like a Disney ad to anyone?? No matter, my life is a Disney movie as it stands.

Uhhh so yeah. I guess I'll just leave this as the precursor to the HUGE entry I'll post next time. Maybe tomorrow, if I wake up.

I will close with this neat little poem  I found, which kind of summarizes a lot for me. And hopefully, something for a couple others. G'night!

Spirits

At night I watch the spirits roam

Underneath the clearest of skies

That's when they are so very real

If only you care to see

They are vespers, brilliant and full of life,

Though theirs in our world

Is long over

I watch as they flit, here and there,

Little spheres of light

The woes of a world

They no longer see, unfolding seamlessly against them,

Their own tribulations are lost now-

For where could they be, in eternity? 

The trees bow slightly at their presence

And the wind laughs as it carries them along

They show no disdain, they are only passing

As I gaze with open wonder

And of all the wonders this bright night holds,

And of all things which give your heart purpose

See what I see, as each goes 

Not one by one,

But by two.

On these nights where I gaze at the sky

With the spirits, singing peace in their incandescence

In pairs, always pairs-

It is that which brings out a smile

For I know when I soar

Carrying a life, then past,

You will be my companion.

-Anon.